Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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