I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
