I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
