I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
