New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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