I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
