thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
