we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
