My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
