Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Randomize
