Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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