i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
