So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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