Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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