it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
