butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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