just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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