I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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