you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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