So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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