so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
