If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
