So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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