Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
