will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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