I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
