Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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