it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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