some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she peed on how many people?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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