At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
did i just pee glitter
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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