More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
