I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
