We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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