Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you had me at cake vodka
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
