Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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