if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
