Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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