Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
