Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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