After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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