I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
