I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
