Do you still have your period?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
