Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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