And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she looked like the before picture.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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