So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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