K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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