i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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