I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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