I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
