I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
