The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my being single is dangerous.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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