Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
