Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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