Buhtt sex?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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