I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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