its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
