I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He has the fingertips of a God
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