i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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