Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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