chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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