Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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