We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize