Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
