someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
