I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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